God Damn... It Itches!

I must have misunderstood the rules... I thought it meant No Shaving. Not just the mustache, but everything. Or it could be that I took this opportunity to express my laziness. Either way, I haven't touched a razor (manual or electric) since October 31 st. It fucking itches! BAD. My head itches. My neck itches. My ears itch too... damn, that sucks that I have to shave my ears! But I'm trying to raise money for prostrate (male ass) and testicular (male balls, as opposed to female balls) cancer research. Sure.... I had lots of people telling me to shave my mustache off for "the cause". But I've had ONE DONOR. One fucking donor. THANK YOU JOE. You are a class act. Love your blog. But the rest of you SUCK. Unless you donate. Then I'd think about it. You'd probably still suck.. but it'd be less. See.. Joe thinks ass and ball cancer is bad, and he didn't even need to think twice about it. Do you people like ass and ball cancer? I wouldn't think you'd like it... but I do have some strange readers... and I know who you all are. This blog has 25 individual daily readers (not including me) so I'm hoping the the photo above of a COMPLETELY UNSHAVEN Old Fart will spur a few donations. I'm itching... donate! But if that's not enough... I'm posting the famous person I resemble most while suffering through this agonizing spurt of hair growth. Please don't make me go Sean Connery on your asses. Give money to try to help fight male ass and ball cancer. Seriously.

Cat Scratch Fever

I don't hate cats. I will NEVER have one as pet, but if you have one I don't think any less of you for that fact. *liar But I don't like cat owners who don't treat their cats like I treat my dogs. My dogs don't LIVE outside. They live in my house. They only go outside to fertilize the lawn or the occasional stretch. I also fence my yard. There is no opening into my backyard wider than three inches, unless you have an opposible thumb and can reach a latch four feet off the ground with that thumb. Last time I checked, cats hadn't evolved to having either opposible thumbs or the ability to operate gate latches. My neighbors of the past two years are cat people. You can probably guess where this post is going. I moved here eight years ago... with Greyhounds. Greyhound LOVE to chase animals. Mice, squirrels, blue jays, raccoons, CATS, other small dogs... it don't matter the animal. The difference in the chase animals is that greyhounds won't really try to hurt another DOG. Even smaller dogs. But anything else is gonna get the full treatment. During the first 5 years I lived in this house, with no one around us owning a cat (dogs only on every fence line), our dogs found one cat in our yard. It paid with its life. Cat Vs. Greyhound will always go to the Greyhound. Two years ago we got a new neighbor on our fence line. They had a cat. Actually they had cats. We told them right from the start... your cat gets in our yard, it's probably not going to make it out. Then we noticed they liked to put food OUTSIDE for the cats. Let me say that again. I have Greyhounds.... my neighbors like to put cat food just outside the fence line. Yeah... recipe for dead cats. Since the new neighbors move in two years ago... two dead cats, two escapees. Today was the kicker. The picture at the top of this post is Trigger. He is the most high prey greyhound we have. He'll go after any small NON DOG animal. He got his face tore up as you can see... But he'll live. The cat... it's in a bag, in our trash. Our neighbors reaction. He called the police on us. Seriously. He actually called the Olathe Police Department about a CAT MURDER. My dog admitted he did it, but the cop refused to arrest, due to the fact that the cat was tresspassing and being a cat automatically makes the evilness meter tick up X10. I will say this... Olathe PD entered my property... and the only dead thing was a cat. WIN.

OP's Finest Now Have a Place To Hang Out

Johnson County Kansas has become the official center of the Kansas City metro area, since is to be the home of the first Dunkin Donuts franchise in the area in over 20 years. I read somewhere that the last DD closed in the metro area back in the mid 80's. Being a displaced New Englander, it's good to have the worlds best coffee back. Sure, there is ONE Dunkin Donuts in Lawrence Kansas, and I've made the 20 minute one way drive there for a cup of the worlds best coffee, but that's a lot of gasoline usage for a cup of joe, and I never really have a reason to drive in that direction (west). Almost all of my trips are to the north, east, and occasionally south. But on Thursday, Dunkins will open a store on 151st street in Overland Park. Happy days are here! Over the next 8-10 years, the franchise owners (and DD corp) plan to open 14 other Dunkins around the metro area. I gotta tell you, 15 Dunkins in a 100 square mile area isn't up to par. Proper Dunkin Donut dispersal is normally 20 stores in a city the size of Olathe. Seriously. Population wise, Brockton Massachusetts is the same size as Olathe and there are AT LEAST 20 in that city alone. BTW, the picture above is the Dunkin Donuts store at Centre and N. Montello St in Brockton Mass. The police station is located directly behind it. Really.

I Am Not A Crook

My father likes to forward lots of republican, conservative leaning emails to me. Sometimes they are spot on the mark. Sometimes they are so far off into right field that even the blindest of umpires would call them foul. I'm not a fan of Obama. He's yet to deliver on any of the campaign promises he made to reign in the constitutional abuses of George W. Bush. But I have to call bullshit when I see it. This is the start of the email I got: Another Failed Presidency By Geoffrey P. HuntAmericanThinker.comAug. 31, 2009 Barack Obama is on track to have the most spectacularly failed presidency since Woodrow Wilson! In the modern era, we've seen several failed presidencies -- led by Jimmy Carter and LBJ. Failed presidents have one strong common trait -- they are repudiated, in the vernacular, spat out. Of course, LBJ wisely took the exit ramp early, avoiding a shove into oncoming traffic by his own party. Richard Nixon indeed resigned in disgrace, yet his reputation as a statesman has been partially restored by his triumphant overture to China. George Bush Jr didn't fail so much as he was perceived to have been too much of a patrician while being uncomfortable with his more conservative allies. Yet George Bush Sr is still perceived as a man of uncommon decency, loyal to the enduring American character of rugged self-determination, free markets, and generosity. George W will eventually be treated more kindly by historians as one whose potential was squashed by his own compromise of conservative principles, in some ways repeating the mistakes of his father, while ignoring many lessons in executive leadership he should have learned at Harvard Business School. Of course George W could never quite overcome being dogged from the outset by half of the nation convinced he was electorally illegitimate -- thus aiding the resurgence of the liberal wing of the Democratic Party. WTF Nixon was a criminal. And this article gives his shit just ONE SENTENCE. Absolute fucking bullshit. Anything this idiot writes after that sentence is crap. Nixon was THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER. Anyone who looks to mitigate that is just spewing right wight bullshit. For full disclosure, Obama is no worse than any president since FDR. Actually since 1900. For the past one hundred years we've had presidents who dont think twice about curtailing the rights of the citizens in place of increasing thier own power. But... Nixon and Obama? They both suck. Nixon gets no free ride... So given that the article wants to gloss over Tricky Dicks shit... I have to call it Bull Shit.

Brrrrrrr

My upper lip is cold. OK, I've shaved off my moustache for the first time in about 30 years. Now I need my readers to click on the link to the right ---> and donate some money. It is a secure transaction, and the money goes to fund research on prostate and testicular cancer. As the month of "Movember" creeps along, I will post pictures of the moustache growth and a quick reminder to donate. Every little bit helps. I'm just glad I didn't have to wear pink for this!