Maybe The DNA Belongs To Enis?

Oh My God. Elvis is ALIVE! You heard me. HE'S ALIVE. REALLY, STOP FUCKING LAUGHING ASSHOLE! The proof is held by some woman in Tennessee. She has an envelope mailed to her in the last year, and Elvis sent it to her. He licked the stamp and the edge to seal it, so there is DNA. STOP LAUGHING! She's no crackpot. She's Elvis' half sister. She even legally changed her name from Alice Triffin to Eliza Presley, in the last year. See... they have the same last name now, so it's got to be proof! All right, the wheezing sounds you're making trying to breath between laughing fits is getting REALLY ANNOYING! Knock it OFF! Eliza (Elvis the Pelvis' half sister) even got a Memphis judge to reopen their late father Vernon's estate. So if she can get a judge to do that, then she certainly must have Elvis saliva on an envelope... even though the envelope is mailed by a "Jessie Presley". Everyone knows that's the name the King of Rock & Roll is going by now. Damn you... stop pounding on the freaking desk. I can't hear myself think! Look you non-believing piece of dog excrement. Even Fox News had an age progression firm do up an image of what Elvis would look like now. I saw that SAME EXACT GUY at the Hooters in Olathe yesterday. Alright, you just need to leave. I can't talk to people with a closed mind. * title is an homage to an old joke about Elvis' nickname.